Jul 29

pound of flesh

The short version of a long story is that Charles Schwab sold me auction-rate securities, promising liquidity, then stonewalled me when the market disappeared for the ARSs. Meanwhile, every other firm on the planet — and I mean every one – made their clients whole. Goldman Sachs, the auction agent for the ARSs I bought: settled. Fidelity: settled. BofA: settled. TD Ameritrade (late of zero-doc mortgage loan fame): settled.

You can only imagine the lengths I’ve gone to to try to bring this to the attention of regulators. I’ve spoken to regulators in Massachusetts (the issuer of the ARS I bought, the proceeds of which were used to finance the Big Dig), Illinois, and last summer, New York.

I’ve written letters…called representatives…filed complaints with FINRA (famous for being the securities industry’s favorite regulator and the former home of the new SEC chairman. Buy lots of empty mattresses as long as these people are protecting you).

I clearly remember the conversation I had with the NY AG’s office last year. They “got it” but when nothing happened for months, I assumed that office, like all the others I had implored, had moved on to more newsworthy pursuits. Like compensation at AIG and why Lehman Brothers’ collapse was good for the candle-making industry.

Then, finally — finally! – last week, the New York State Attorney General — from among all the attorneys general in the country who were beating their chests about protecting investors last year — sent Charles Schwab a demand letter (attached below).

Charles Schlemeil had convinced themselves they hadn’t lied…they hadn’t stolen my money…that it was those nasty Wall Street firms who were at fault when the ARS auctions tanked. “We’re not the bad guys,” they claimed. “We just sold these things ‘downstream.’ We don’t have anything at all to apologize for or make good on.” Schwab stood on principle! It was a victim, too!

Principle, shminsciple. Now that the NY AG is onto them, they’re talking about how much it’ll cost them to hold off the litigation and whether or not that’s a better deal for them than paying up. This was always a calculation of cost and until now it simply cost those bozos-in-$900-suits less to stonewall than to pay up. When nobody appeared to care, it was easy to argue principle.

Yes, I’m upset that I can’t get to my money…that Schwab lied to me…that talking to Chuck turned out to be talking to a wall. That Schwab is full of schit when it comes to doing the right thing — what everyone else did — for their clients.  But mostly, I was unhappy that in the face of such obvious avarice and fraud, none of the responsible regulators did anything about it. One nastygram like this was all I was looking for…and now that my home state AG has sent it, it’s only a matter of time until Charles Schwab capitulates.

But until then, I am anticipating the pound of flesh the NY AG will extract from Schwab and grateful to my fellow Noo Yawkers for stickin’ with it for us little guys.

icon for podpress  NY AG ARS demand letter to Charles Schwab: Download (197)
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Jul 22

Remember the original Spinal Tap movie in which the amplifiers go to 11? Voila! Instant meme.

turn the volume up to 11

Well, I’ve just read a blog post from zug.com called “The Verizon Prank” in which John Hargrave risks big dogs and angry neighbors to make a point I wish more people were concerned about: lax privacy controls. Maybe we have the beginning of a new meme: Hargrave standing outside Verizon’s CEO’s home with the amp on 11 yelling, “Can you hear me NOW??

My kids often ask why I object to signing pin pads at checkout lines. Simple, I tell them. Would you like to have your signature digitized and placed on orders for everything from stocks to cellphones? Wouldn’t care for that, they say.

But that fuzzy “privacy stuff” is protected, they protest. We live in public on Facebook and Twitter (and I don’t?)…we don’t worry about privacy.

The upbrading from my kids helps the confused cashier who thinks I am a nut and who can’t restart the transaction…yes, the pimply dude will say, your kid is right. Trust [TJMaxx, Wal-Mart, Exxon, Sears, L.L. Bean, the corner spa, the library] to protect your information. Like your lovely daughter there (lascivious glances at my tender young kids!), I trust [Gulf Oil, Toyota, AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, Charles Schwab, the IRS] with anything they want to store about me.

Not me. I remain very skeptical. And, after you finish laughing your ass off at this video, you should become more skeptical, too.

Jul 19

orwell

On the off-chance you haven’t heard about amazon.com erasing Orwell novels from Kindle users’ devices, here’s the coverage from nytimes.com.

You really have to congratulate amazon.com for creating new levels of nested metaphor. My Room 101 isn’t rats: it’s DRM.

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Jul 15

I often use my blog to diss marketing that’s stupid, misleading, dangerous or derivative.  This time it’s my pleasure to share marketing that’s on it…at the top-dead-center of the power stroke…so damn good it’ll make your day.

Coffee lovers often talk about the “blend” — a mystical combination of the beans, the roasting and the infusion of hot water that delivers whatever it is coffee addicts see in their poison. (I just see mud.)

In high tech marketing, the “blend” is everything. You gotta have creativity… you gotta have authenticity…and given that small tech startups are either a) a completely new idea and/or b) trying to unseat titans, you gotta have balls to make your point. Big ones.

And my friends at currensee.com have ‘em. Watch this video. In just 1:02, you get it all in the blend. The beans (what currensee.com is), the roasting (it’s a social network for currency traders) and the infusion of…well…tush into the blend. If you don’t smile — and then head right over to the site — it’s definitely your problem.

My hat’s off to Dave and Michelle for ignoring all the reasons marketers come up with not to stand out and delivering their message (make more money trading money with a group) with a liberal dose of authenticity and humor.

Now…don’t spend too long replaying the end of this video, even if nobody’s watching you.

Jul 13

Lunch with a former colleague I hadn’t seen in 7 years. People change a lot/don’t change at all.

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Jul 01

allcloggedup

This is going to be a short and badly written blog post. It’s devoid of content. It has no theme. It really won’t make that much sense.

I’m trying to expunge a serious case of writer’s block by — what else — writing about it. And I’ve been cursed at the worst possible moment.

I need to write several press releases and can’t. I need to edit collateral. I can’t. I want to update several web pages. I’d better not. I composed a PowerPoint for an analyst this morning. It stinks.

A colleague I was talking with said I needed a “rest.” I’m not sure if she means I’m over the hill or tired. No matter. I’m not fit to write about it.

But at least I know what caused this blockage (if not how long it’ll last). I was searching for images today and came across the most revolting blog post of all time. If this doesn’t “stop you up” then nothing will.

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