Nov 22

Hungry? Check out seasonalfeast.com

By Alex Neihaus General musings 2 Comments »

Stuffing your face

I love to eat. I can’t cook. Even microwaved Velveeta on Ritz is well beyond my gastronomic capabilities. I am quite content to sit at home all day Sunday, watch football all day and consume embarrassingly large quantities of things the FDA has no labeling standards for.

Still, I have a lot of respect for “foodie” culture, which prizes organic, sustainable and locally-produced food. So, I am very pleased to recommend a new blog, http://www.seasonalfeast.com, written by my colleague, Sonal Rajan (get it…”See Sonal feast?”) which is off to a great start with mouth-watering new recipes for things I could only dream of being able to make.

So, Sonal, any time you wanna freeze some of that stuff for me for the next Patriots home game…

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Oct 22

Dear Michael Steele and the Republican Party: Please leave me alone

By Alex Neihaus General musings, Politics No Comments »

An open letter to Michael Steele and the Republican Party

Dear Chairman Steele,

Last November, I made a $25 contribution to your party’s candidate. I also made a $25 contribution to the Obama campaign. Then, I wasn’t sure who would have been the better president.

Now, after months and months of non-stop invective from you and your party against President Obama, I am sure I did the right thing in voting for Obama.

Let me get something off my chest: when I gave you my contribution I asked you not to send me email…not to call me at home…not to keep sending me the vile propaganda and lies via snail mail that you are now sending at least twice a week. (We’ll get the the “survey” I’ve attached to this post in just a minute). I made the same request of the Obama campaign. They honored my request; you and your party of naysayers and obstructionists have not.

Instead, you keep sending me items like the “survey” I’ve scanned in and attached to this post. Maybe you thought that you could make wild claims like the one that the current administration is issuing “radical environmental regulations based on unproven theories and the demands of out of-touch left wing extremists.” Or maybe that some misguided Republicans might be pleased that your politicians “…have successfully blocked or amended many of their most radical proposals” while proposing and contributing nothing to the debate.

I get it…I really do. Negative works. Calling everyone names…calling their mothers nasty names…works better than actually governing…being a loyal opposition…contributing to the greater weal. Instead, for your party everything the other party does is wrong; only you can solve problems like Wall Street’s greed, a war based on lies and a sunken economy. Oh…I forgot. For those, we have Republicans to thank. As President Bush said, “Mission accomplished.”

I hope everyone reading this post takes a look at the “survey” you sent me. C’mon…do you think your voters are idiots? These questions are one-sided and are like waving the red flag at a bull. All you want is money…and if you piss people off at government…make them feel it’s working against them, so much the better for you and your power-hungry Senators (and so much the worst for us).

It’s too hard to pick the most egregious of the 19 questions on this “survey.” Clearly, you don’t give a damn about what people think…you just want them to read this, get angry and send you money. Still, what’s the point of a question like #16 (Are you in favor of the federal government taking a permanent ownership stake in the nation’s largest banks)? Aren’t Citibank and AIG dying to pay back TARP funds so they can get back to ripping off investors without government oversight? Didn’t the taxpayers line Goldman Sachs’ pockets with credit-default swap payments via AIG’s bailout? Isn’t it enough for you that Wall Street is too big to fail while the rest of us aren’t?

Seriously, Chairman Steele, if you want people to consider Republicans to be capable of running the country, start by working with the current administration to fix the problems we have. Next, admit to the failed policies of eight years of the Bush administration…including torture, warmongering and being asleep at the economic switch.

And please, please stop sending me twice-weekly appeals for money disguised as the worst kind of pandering direct mail.

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Oct 09

Guess what I am doing at Oracle OpenWorld next week in San Francisco

By Alex Neihaus General musings No Comments »

Those of you who know me may remember Revit’s 2001’s “shelf present” or 2002’s infamous treadmill pr stunts. If you do, you won’t be in the least surprised to see images of the front and back of a card actors in prison uniforms are going to be handing out next week at Oracle OpenWorld in San Francisco.

Yup, I am back to some tried-and-true marketing tactics: poke the opponent in the eye using humor and rely on the power of community. What is new this time is how effective social media has been in helping create buzz about this stunt before we even pull it off.

If you are in SF next week, please do join us at the party. Remember to bring along photos and/or videos of the stunt for the competition.

Update October 21, 2009: It was a massive success. Check out the hi-jinks here

Oracle OpenWorld 11 things to consider before buying Oracle SOA Suite 11g

Oracle OpenWorld social media meetup invite

Oct 07

Choose one: New FTC blog post guidelines a) protect you b) kill free speech

By Alex Neihaus Consumer Outrage, General musings, Politics No Comments »

shillwarning

Well, this is one of those times when the government acts and you get to chose your reaction. On the one hand, the emergence of the ‘net as the definitive source of reviews for everything from software to celery has become a bonanza for the shills of the world who review products for filthy lucre and who pretend or obscure that they’ve been bought.

On the other hand, while advertising isn’t a protected form of free speech, it’s sad that we need government intervention limiting speech to prevent these people from preying on grandma’s Google search for cookie dough.

Into this fray steps the FTC with new rules to take effect in December, 2009. (I’ve attached a PDF of the new rules to this post for your convenience.)

You can see the rules struggling to keep up with new and social media. That, in itself, is an interesting commentary on how technological innovation always outstrips government’s ability to keep pace, much less anticipate the impact of technological change. Consider this heavily parsed defintiion from the rules:

An advertiser’s lack of control over the specific statement made via these new forms of consumer-generated media would not automatically disqualify that statement from being deemed an “endorsement” within the meaning of the Guides….Thus, a consumer who purchases a product with his or her own money and praises it on a personal blog or on an electronic message board will not be deemed to be providing an endorsement.

In contrast, postings by a blogger who is paid to speak about an advertiser’s product will be covered by the Guides, regardless of whether the blogger is paid directly by the marketer itself or by a third party on behalf of the marketer.

…For example, a blogger could receive merchandise from a marketer with a request to review it, but with no compensation paid other than the value of the product itself. In this situation, whether or not any positive statement the blogger posts would be deemed an “endorsement” within the meaning of the Guides would depend on, among other things, the value of that product, and on whether the blogger routinely receives such requests.

You all clear on that now?

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Sep 01

You drive, you text…you die. Just try not to kill me, too

By Alex Neihaus Cars, General musings No Comments »

Every day for nearly 17 years I’ve commuted on the Mass Pike between my home and workplaces in Cambridge, Boston, Burlington and, now, Waltham.

Drivers on the Pike have long been deserving of the appellation “Masshole” — you can’t believe what I’ve seen people doing.

They eat, they sing, they use bedpans, they trim their nails…heck, they even paint their nails, they throw things at you, they drive winter “beatahs” so they can dare you to slam into them when they cut you off at 90MPH to get onto 128.

But nothing has scared me more in the last few years than watching Betty in her Hummer SUT and Bob in his Escalade texting. They text with one hand…they text with both hands. They take cell phone photos of themselves cutting people off, then they text the pix to family members with a “woot.”  They text while they are painting their nails.

Now, finally, there’s a YouTube video for them, that should be required viewing before being issued a Fast Lane transponder:

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Jul 22

zug.com turns it up to 11 on Verizon over privacy

By Alex Neihaus Consumer Outrage, General musings 1 Comment »

Remember the original Spinal Tap movie in which the amplifiers go to 11? Voila! Instant meme.

turn the volume up to 11

Well, I’ve just read a blog post from zug.com called “The Verizon Prank” in which John Hargrave risks big dogs and angry neighbors to make a point I wish more people were concerned about: lax privacy controls. Maybe we have the beginning of a new meme: Hargrave standing outside Verizon’s CEO’s home with the amp on 11 yelling, “Can you hear me NOW??”

My kids often ask why I object to signing pin pads at checkout lines. Simple, I tell them. Would you like to have your signature digitized and placed on orders for everything from stocks to cellphones? Wouldn’t care for that, they say.

But that fuzzy “privacy stuff” is protected, they protest. We live in public on Facebook and Twitter (and I don’t?)…we don’t worry about privacy.

The upbrading from my kids helps the confused cashier who thinks I am a nut and who can’t restart the transaction…yes, the pimply dude will say, your kid is right. Trust [TJMaxx, Wal-Mart, Exxon, Sears, L.L. Bean, the corner spa, the library] to protect your information. Like your lovely daughter there (lascivious glances at my tender young kids!), I trust [Gulf Oil, Toyota, AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, Charles Schwab, the IRS] with anything they want to store about me.

Not me. I remain very skeptical. And, after you finish laughing your ass off at this video, you should become more skeptical, too.

Jul 19

amazon.com redefines doubleplusgood for the 21st century

By Alex Neihaus General musings 1 Comment »

orwell

On the off-chance you haven’t heard about amazon.com erasing Orwell novels from Kindle users’ devices, here’s the coverage from nytimes.com.

You really have to congratulate amazon.com for creating new levels of nested metaphor. My Room 101 isn’t rats: it’s DRM.

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Jul 15

Currensee gets it

By Alex Neihaus General musings 2 Comments »

I often use my blog to diss marketing that’s stupid, misleading, dangerous or derivative.  This time it’s my pleasure to share marketing that’s on it…at the top-dead-center of the power stroke…so damn good it’ll make your day.

Coffee lovers often talk about the “blend” — a mystical combination of the beans, the roasting and the infusion of hot water that delivers whatever it is coffee addicts see in their poison. (I just see mud.)

In high tech marketing, the “blend” is everything. You gotta have creativity… you gotta have authenticity…and given that small tech startups are either a) a completely new idea and/or b) trying to unseat titans, you gotta have balls to make your point. Big ones.

And my friends at currensee.com have ‘em. Watch this video. In just 1:02, you get it all in the blend. The beans (what currensee.com is), the roasting (it’s a social network for currency traders) and the infusion of…well…tush into the blend. If you don’t smile — and then head right over to the site — it’s definitely your problem.

My hat’s off to Dave and Michelle for ignoring all the reasons marketers come up with not to stand out and delivering their message (make more money trading money with a group) with a liberal dose of authenticity and humor.

Now…don’t spend too long replaying the end of this video, even if nobody’s watching you.

Jul 13

Lunch with a former colleague …

By Alex Neihaus General musings No Comments »

Lunch with a former colleague I hadn’t seen in 7 years. People change a lot/don’t change at all.

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Jul 01

All clogged up

By Alex Neihaus General musings 2 Comments »

allcloggedup

This is going to be a short and badly written blog post. It’s devoid of content. It has no theme. It really won’t make that much sense.

I’m trying to expunge a serious case of writer’s block by — what else — writing about it. And I’ve been cursed at the worst possible moment.

I need to write several press releases and can’t. I need to edit collateral. I can’t. I want to update several web pages. I’d better not. I composed a PowerPoint for an analyst this morning. It stinks.

A colleague I was talking with said I needed a “rest.” I’m not sure if she means I’m over the hill or tired. No matter. I’m not fit to write about it.

But at least I know what caused this blockage (if not how long it’ll last). I was searching for images today and came across the most revolting blog post of all time. If this doesn’t “stop you up” then nothing will.

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