Dear Mitt,
Thank you for your letter of “Wednesday morning.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear that you need the support of “…our nation’s most committed Republicans…Republicans like [me]”. But I was a little surprised to hear I was a Republican, though. You might want to check that voter registration list you have. I’m not sure what you saw. But “I” usually stands for “independent.”
It also didn’t surprise me to hear that unlike you, President Obama believes in “big government.” Or that you “don’t apologize for America because [you] believe in America.”
And I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear that you sprang from humble origins…sorta, kinda, just like the rest of us. That musta made the prep school pranks all the more fulfilling.
So, I read your letter of Wednesday morning this Monday afternoon. All of it, including the disclaimer way down at the bottom on the back of the last page of the response form — you know, the place where you ask for my money. There, after six pages of red-meat propaganda purportedly written by you, it says “Not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee.”
Huh? You wrote me a letter, asking for money for the RNC, but you didn’t authorize the letter or the solicitation?
Sorry, I’m confused. Maybe you could write me another letter, some other Wednesday morning and explain why I should vote for a guy whose marketing is so contrived and mendacious.
Just sayin’, ya know…one lunch bucket dude to another.
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